I had a cool dream last night;
I was a member of an environmental activist group and we were overseas somewhere, I think Japan or Switzerland. How you get Japan and Switzerland confused, I don’t know but it was one of the two. It was really late at night and pouring rain. We were on a ship in the middle of an ocean. The boat belonged to some natives who were attacking whales and endangered shrimp (I’m not sure if any species of shrimp are actually endangered) and each of us had snuck on the ship & positioned ourselves in front of a net. Each net held a poor baby whale or a bunch of shrimp. There were police on the boat and we were all surrounded.
Then one of my team took a knife from his pocket. He cut the net he was standing by & the whale fell back into the ocean & swam away. One by one, members of my team cut their nets & animals fell to the water, free. And each one of my friends who did this was tazored by the policemen. I was afraid as I watched them fall to the floor shaking in pain. I stood there, soaked from the rain, with my own knife in my hand, staring at the crew & police who were staring at me, waiting for me to make a move. I was so afraid of being tazored that I didn’t do anything. A couple of my team members were afraid as well & didn’t move either. We were all arrested & put to work that very night in a muddy yard, digging holes. It was dark & we were all soaked & covered in mud in this foreign prison. After hours of digging we were taken to a very small house where we’d be staying. We were prisoners. But we were all smiling & laughing. We were having the time of our lives, covered in mud & all.
Then I woke up. & I couldn’t help but hate myself for not cutting that damn net. I know it was just a dream but I am so disappointed in myself. I’m that type of person, I know I am. I have the best intentions but when it comes down to it, I’m afraid. I never make a move when I should. That’s why my life’s where it’s at, cause I can think about doing things but when it comes down to it, I just stand there, afraid of being tazored. Then every day I wake up slightly upset with myself. Because I never just cut the damn net.
Tomorrow is Earth Day, what an appropriate dream.
How do I become fearless? I want to be the kind of person who can make a difference. I need to be the type of person who will, when the time comes, cut the net. How do I become fearless?
