There were three factors that would make Martin Luther King Jr. day of service different from our other service days. For one, it would be our biggest service day of the year. We were aiming for 900 volunteers total. Two; we would be serving at two separate sights: Gompers elementary school and Beeber middle school. This meant that everyone on my team had double the work load. For John, he had to recruit for two sites. Catie had to handle logistics for two sites. And the third factor making MLK Day different from our other events; Lauren & I who share the role of planning, designing, leading prep for & facilitating our service events would be divided among the two sites and working alone.
John & I were working on a service event in Houston, Texas when we secured Gompers as an MLK Day site & Lauren began planning the day. Almost two weeks after we were back, we scored Beeber. Since Lauren was already well into planning for Gompers, I was given the title of service leader for Beeber.
Let's fast forward to January; the holidays are over. I have two weeks until MLK Day. The principal, program manager and team leader at Beeber can't make up their minds about anything so none of my documents can be completed. In-school prep is scheduled to start right about now and I'm completely baffled about what I'm even doing. And to top it all off; I have no Lauren. I'm alone.
Fast forward again. January 21st, 2013. 8:30pm. I'm completely discombobulated. They say we had an extremely successful MLK Day. We had over 1200 volunteers total. 772 at Beeber alone. Over 500 at Gompers. Every single one of my projects were completed, no need to return to either school over the next few weeks to complete or touch up anything (which is a lot more than we can say about our last project). No major messes. I didn't run out of paint (again, more than I can say about my last project). Almost everyone had a good time. So why am I still completely discombobulated at a time when I should finally be able to breathe?
Looking back, I'm sure everyone remembers the opening program. The Beeber school step team and the motivational speeches. They remember the upbeat corps members leading them through inspiring service. They remember the presidential inauguration being streamed in the auditorium. They remember the free t-shirts and the high spirits on a day that only comes once a year.
But for me, this was a day that would only come once in my life. Never again will I be able to lead a large MLK service event (if given the opportunity I wouldn't even want to). For me this day should've been all of the above and more. But looking back all I can remember is no one having my back. I remember being pushed around. I remember my own work being changed and switched up behind my back and not knowing until after the fact. I remember pressure on top of pressure and no hugs or pats on the back. Not pats on the back for praise, but simple encouragement. I remember being alone on everything. Until something went wrong. Then I remember having everyone's attention. I remember getting all of the blame for everything. Not that anyone would say it to my face. But grape vines don't stretch all that far around here. Blame did actually belong to me, I own it. But I haven't been doing this for years. I've been doing it for four months. I remember no one having my back.
I remember John taping an uplifting fortune cookie fortune to my computer screen. Someone did have my back.
This was a once in a lifetime event for me. But all I can remember is feeling extremely small. And on January 21st at 8:30pm when I should've been taking my first breath in weeks and celebrating the biggest thing we've ever done... I still couldn't figure out how to breathe and all I felt was angry. And still very small.
But to everyone else, MLK Day 2013 was the biggest thing we've ever done. And it was very successful. So I'm told.
